South Park: The Stick of Truth – A Review and a Promise

Hey, you awesome party people! Sorry it’s been so long since I showed up. Work, both the dayjob and the writing of amazing stories (including the fourth volume of The Statford Chronicles, available now at Amazon), plus some personal stuff going on kept me from here. Of course, that’s no excuse, and I’ll do better about posting here for you wonderful folks more often and more regularly. If you want to help, feel free to take a look at the Moichendising link to the right and contribute to assisting me in taking over the world!
Maniacal laughter aside, I do have a bit of content for this post. Specifically, a review of the video game South Park: The Stick of Truth. I can’t tell you how this game has screwed me up, and had me enjoying every second of it. However, I will try. I’ll keep this as spoiler-free as possible, so enjoy.
The premise is rather straightforward: You’re a new kid in South Park, and your parents, who suck rather badly at the job and hint at a dark reason for the three of you heading to a quiet mountain town, tell you to go outside and make some friends. You meet Butters, and things rather quickly go downhill from there as you’re introduced to Cartman, who has set up a fantasy kingdom that fights against the elves, actually other kids in town. The titular Stick of Truth is what the two groups of kids battle over, which supposedly controls all time and space, and Cartman has it. Cartman recruits you against the elves and allows you to choose your name and your class. That’s the gist of the first few minutes, and I cut off the summary before it got really bad.
And yes, it does get bad in a very fun way.
First, the gameplay is surprisingly deep for a game about a cartoon that made its money out of foul language and taboo subjects. Those who want to complain that it’s cheesy and cheap-looking need to relax and remember the source material. However, it’s not a case of a Scion looking good next to a Pinto. It plays like the JRPGs of old, and you can see the inspirations from those games. However, it’s like someone crossed the Final Fantasy battle system with, well, an episode of South Park and did their best to make it as true to the source as possible. The attacks are both hilarious and requiring skill to complete successfully, the items are about as classy as you would expect and the summons/special attacks? I’ll let you discover those.
The graphics are rather good as well, even though they’re a straight lift out of the show. There is obvious attention to detail for the settings and the characters, and it goes rather deeply into how much, even though Trey Parker and Matt Stone have made a crapload of money off the series, these guys love what they do. Sure, they like the money, but they also love their creation. Every character is fully voiced, and has some rather awesome lines. It really is like taking part in an extended episode of South Park.
That being said, cameos and guest-stars abound. Al Gore, Mr. Hankie, Cartman’s Mom, and countless others show up to either help or hinder you, and sometimes both at the same time. Really, I don’t want to give too much away other than Al Gore sucks. He absolutely sucks.
There are some flaws in The Stick of Truth, but they are minor. Controls can sometimes be a little wonky, especially during special attacks. Sometimes the attacks don’t go off, sometimes they do absolutely nothing. While this can be somewhat endearing in some battles, in other big fights it can be rather annoying.
All in all, though, I can’t recommend The Stick of Truth enough. Seriously, if you aren’t easily offended and you like South Park (but I repeat myself), this is the game to get. Have fun with it!
Next week I’ll either be reviewing something else or interviewing someone. I’m hoping the latter, but the former will be fun, too. See you then!

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~ by Walker on June 10, 2014.

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